The Big Week

Wow. The MTC is so much different, but way cooler, than I thought it was going to be. It's crazy how excited people are about the gospel here. I have never felt so much true joy coming from any place. People realize that negativity and complaining drive out the Spirit, so you don't hear much of that here. Which I love! So much fun!

This letter is going to be pretty rambling and newsy.

The first day we got here and the Elder helped me carry my stuff. Yes, funny, and No, Whitney, my first companion is not an Elder. But I sure laughed at that. We had to wander around and I was so lost and it was just crazy. They send you through a bunch of lines to make sure you've done everything and then you head to your room. We had to find a place to put my insulin and that took about a year and a half, so yes, I was late to my first class. Congratulations to me. Way to set a good impression for myself.

My district is seriously so cool. My companion is Sister Steed, and she looks a whole lot like Julia Stiles if you know who that is. She is really sweet and even-tempered, which is good. I love working with her, and she is super hard working. We have a lot of the same struggles--not relying on ourselves, humility, patience, etc.--and so it's good to work with her because she understands the frustrations that come when you feel like you can't feel the Spirit.

Tangent about the Spirit: I know that everybody feels the Spirit in different ways. But when we were teaching one of our Progressing Investigators/Teachers, Matt, he evaluated us at the end and told us that we'd done terribly. Haha. We really did, and it's kind of funny now, but then I was bawling like a baby. It's hard when it's not what you do that is the problem but who you are. Anyway, he told us that it was because we were relying 80 to 90 percent on ourselves, and we needed to rely on the Spirit—which I do have a testimony of. But I was just wondering, how do you best feel the Spirit when you're teaching? How do you plan enough but not so much that the Spirit can't get in? And also, just how do you feel the Spirit in your lives? That's what I've really been working on this week.

I am the Music Coordinator, which is funny, since I don't have to do anything besides training the next one. Thank you General Conference and Easter! Ha ha. That's okay though. In our district, we have a district leader obviously, and then we have the Zone Leaders and the Coordinating Sisters. Sister Steed and I are the only ones not really in leadership and the only ones who don't have to go to their meetings. So when they have them, we get extra study time, which I love! It's nice to be by ourselves, too. Yesterday, we did Companion Inventory which was awesome. It's good to have someone who loves you tell things that can help you be a better servant of the Lord. One of the things we've talked about is that I need to talk slower, so if she feels like it, she can jump in.

Hey, Boom, remember when you sent me a joke and I read it out loud to my district before I read it to myself? Yeah, that was really embarrassing for me. But also, I laughed really hard....sh.....

For Easter Sunday, we all got to have this giant combined meeting. We had Sacrament Meeting/Fast and Testimony Meeting (Yes, I fasted until 6 p.m. and it was AWESOME) and in our giant meeting we got the sacrament. To 3,000 missionaries. It was an incredible thing to be a part of, kind of like when Jesus fed the 5,000 or whatever. It was cool. A member of the Presiding Bishopric, Brother Caussé, came and spoke to us. He was really good. We also got to go see Sherri Dew in a devotional that was amazing. In the beginning of it, we did this version of “Called to Serve” where we started out really soft and then it got louder and we all stood up and just belted it out. I've never felt so much like I'm part of an army, a wave, of new missionaries. Speaking of which, we have 3,000 missionaries this week, and they said they are soon expecting to have 5,000 missionaries in two separate locations. WOW! That is so many missionaries. The work is moving forward, and the best part is, I can be a part of it! I feel really inadequate to do the work, but I know that God can strengthen and help me. He helps us in our righteous desires. And he will help me as I continue to try and teach other people.

Also, one of my teachers, Sister Taylor, just married Stephen Taylor! So that is really cool, and she's one of the sweetest people I've ever met.

The food isn't too bad. The wrap line has been the best so far, and I haven't even tried the orange juice. But someone in my class did, the other day, I think. And nobody thanked them for it. Yuck.

Last night, we got to go see Elder Bednar's MTC address on the "Character of Christ." I think you can only get access to it in the MTC, and I seriously have never felt a better message or heard a better talk from him. It was just incredible. Every day, I learn something here that makes me want to change my life. And that is just the beginning. The desire to change. And change comes with desire. I know that's true.

So, with the Spirit, this is what I've been thinking. My teacher, Brother Gochis, keeps telling us that when we can't think of anything to say, to just pray and have the Holy Ghost help us. When I can't think of anything, I pray and pray and I just can't feel anything. It's hard because I so badly want to teach with the Spirit. And I know that I don't know the investigator, but God does, so if I am His mouthpiece then He can tell me what to say. But I can't feel anything! And that's hard. I have cried and wondered a lot about this, wondering if I really do know what it's like to feel the Spirit and wondering why I gave my farewell talk on inspiration when I feel like I don't know anything about it! But here's the thing: I've realized that the way that I can feel the Spirit--maybe the only way so far--is through comfort. When I pray and feel the Spirit, I feel comforted. When I listened to Elder Bednar, I felt like I could change but I didn't feel overwhelmed. I felt the Spirit comforting me. And when I listen to my teacher Sister Taylor, I feel comforted. So, as of yet, this is the way I can feel the Spirit. The Celestial Room isn't a place where I really feel inspiration. I feel the Spirit COMFORTING me there. And I think that the more we recognize the Spirit in that way, the more ways He can bless us. Elder Bednar encouraged us to ask God to tutor us in the way that we feel the Spirit. So I've been asking God for a lot of tutoring. And sometimes I can't tell if I answer, or if He answers. But if it's good, then it comes from God.

Sister Taylor told us that one way to keep recognizing the Spirit is that if you feel any kind of prompting, if it's good then to do it! She says even if it's buttering toast upside down. Even if it wasn't from the Spirit, if it's good, then you are allowing God to see that you trust Him enough to do something, even if it seems silly. So this week I've been trying that. If I feel like I should say something, then I say it. If I try to love someone more, I pray for it. Yesterday, I felt like I should write "Happy Birthday Sister Jones" on the board to one of our sisters whose birthday it was. It turned out a whole bunch of people, including President Cutler--our branch president--signed it, and I think it meant a lot to her. So that's one way I'm trying to show God that I want His Spirit. And that He can trust me with it.

I also think that the Lord is trying my patience. Because I have an awesome companion, He is making it so I have a hard time with something--namely, teaching with the Spirit--so I will be humble. Because I promise you, all the things that I thought I was good at I could definitely improve. I have so much room for growth. I have so much room for being a better leader, a better follower, a better companion, a more mature missionary, a more obedient missionary, and a more effective missionary. The more I keep my covenants, the more I will learn about the nature of God. He wants to bless all of His children as long as we are willing to do the things that will warrant those blessings. As my branch president says, "Obedience brings blessings. Exact obedience brings miracles!"

Something that I laughed my head off about was in Elder Bednar's talks. He was talking about becoming truly converted to the gospel. When we are truly converted and don't merely have a testimony, we will never fall away. Anyway, he said, "Whenever someone comes up in sacrament meeting and says, "When my ancestor came across with the Martin and Willie Handcart Company," I silently cringe to myself and think, "That's great. What have YOU done lately?" Haha! I thought that was so funny.

Moral of the story: Be happy. The gospel is true. I have gained such strength in my testimony the last week. I know that God takes us away from our families to help us grow. Because when the only family member we truly have is the Lord, we can only turn to Him for strength. And He wants to give us strength. He wants us to be happy! He wants us to serve other people and stop thinking about ourselves. He wants us to keep the Spirit with us, by being obedient and by looking for the good in other people as well as ourselves. I pray for our family every night.

The Church is true! Now go preach it by the way that you live!

Love,

Sister Baby Girl

P.S.  I love getting letters. It feels so good to get hard copies of letters, because I can read them a million times!